Why do people leave the Church? Part 1

Why do people leave the Church? Part 1

About 10 months ago, I was sitting against the back wall of my church, during a Sunday morning service. We had been attending this church for 6 years at that point. I looked around at the empty seats and thought of the faces that used to occupy them. It's a fact; we (Christians) pretty much always keep the same seats, so it was easy for me to picture who was missing. Where did they all go? Why? Of course, I knew many people had dropped off the radar when our Senior Pastor resigned 4 months before. That always happens. But we don't, or shouldn't follow the 'man', and to be honest, many families had left before that time. So why? I wrote down names as I thought of them, and after coming up with a few questions, I initially made contact with 9 families. As I continued to gather information, I contacted people from other churches, roughly 16 families. I did this in order to get broader information and not make this just about my church. These are some of the questions I asked them:

1. Why did you leave?
2. Did you tell anyone you were leaving?
3. If you didn't tell the Pastor you were leaving, did he contact you when you did?.
4. How important is Worship? The style, length, the volume?
5. How important are programs: Nursery, kids, young adults, mens, womens, seniors? Programs in general
6. Are midweek bible or book studies important?
7. Outreach vs. Discipleship. Do you think there can be a balance?
8. If you could remain totally anonymous, and you will, what would you let the Pastors know?

Tommorow, I will post the answers to these questions. As I had stated, I started research on this particular blog subject almost 10 months ago. It took a long time to follow up with people. From time to time, I thought it might be time to post it, but then something else would happen, either at mine or another church, and I would not want to not hurt feelings. What if wrote something that hit home with someone. The people I surveyed, are from 2 churches that I have attended for the total of 19 years. In those 19 years, I have served under 5 Pastors. I have seen many people come and go. I am not pointing fingers, I listen to people, and this is what they say.

Bucket List

In the last year, I have made myself a bucket list. You know the list that you make when you want to accomplish or experience something before you've clean your last toilet or are just too tired to care. Being what I used to consider middle aged now, I probably should have thought about this a couple of decades ago. My list includes the cheap, the expensive and the down right impossible. It includes both 'all about me,' and 'family' and 'the family of God.'

Here it is.

1. Have my mortgage paid off before I turn 55. Most everything on my list, realistically cannot happen til that is attained.

2. Horse back riding. I want to learn how to ride and take care of a horse. I have been on a horse a handful of times. I don't know how to ride and not look foolish doing it. I have old family videos that I look absolutely ridiculous in. I don't know if physically, this body can handle riding, but the answer is in the first lesson. I haven't booked a lesson yet. My financial goals have me taking care of other things first.

3. Learn sign language. What a lonely life it must be to be deaf. The statistics are astounding of how many children grow up with no communication with their parents because the parents won't learn sign. Even more astounding is that the large population of the deaf will never learn about Jesus because very few can speak to them in their language. I borrowed books from my mom, with the intention of self teaching. It is pretty clear that I need to take a class.

4. Go back to school. Besides learning sign, I also want to brush up on my Spanish. The first highschool I attended, I had taken 2 years in it, and was a B+ student. When we moved, and I transferred my classes, I started to fail. Spanish 3 was way harder than I could handle, so I dropped it.

5. Buy houses for cash, use rental income to fund my life, and my bucket list.

6. Find out if I have a 1/2 brother, without anyone getting hurt, including me losing a kidney over it. My biological father was less than faithful to my mom. He was an alcoholic and with that comes all kinds of bad behaviors. More on that another time. (Update~~~ 5/31/14, I tracked down and met the man I have believed to be my brother for the last 35 years. We found we had a lot in common and the idea that he could be my brother didn't surprise him in the least. We went ahead with the DNA tests, and it turns out that there is a less than 1% chance that we are siblings. This is pretty disappointing to us both. I will continue to try and help him find the answers that he needs, and am grateful that I have had the opportunity to meet and know this man that I really believed  was my brother from another mother.~He is a pretty cool guy.)

7. Take my entire immediate family on a paid for tropical cruise. Hawaii, Carribean, it does not matter. What can you do when you don't have a mortgage payment? Anything you want.

8. Go on a European tour. Italy, Spain, Ireland, and England.

9. Write and publish a book. I started writing a novel many years ago, finishing it would be awesome.

10. Be in full time ministry. I want to start a ministry that brings people together to help each other, all the while pointing them to Jesus. Knowledge of salvation is free. The ministry is based on the fact that everyone has a gift or skill that someone else can use, and those that are gifted and skilled also have needs that others can fulfill. Those who accept help will be expected to sign a contract to help others when needs arise. No outright handouts. Not a social program. No entitlements.

That's it. That is what I have so far. Do you have a bucket list? Whats on it? Have you begun to take steps towards achieving what is on your list? Life passes by so fast, if we don't set goals, we will soon be on the other side of really old and have regrets. Just do it. Just saying...

Relay

     Lately, I feel I'm on the outside of the curve of things. Like I have to make a stand on something, and the stand I am making is unpopular. This is just one of those things. Do you remember a few months back, The Susan B. Komen foundation and Planned Parenthood was in the news? The Komen foundation had been giving grants to P.P. for women's breast health. They ended their partnership with P.P. because P.P. was under investigation by congress for book keeping issues. When S.B.K. asked P.P. to account for grants that they received, they were unable to provide them with that information. So they stopped giving them money. The liberal left jumped into action and started donating to P.P. and more than made up the difference. Then S.B.K. caved to the media and began accepting applications from P.P. once again.
    Turns out, there is not a mamagram machine in any P.P. clinic anywhere in the country. When asked about this, they said that they refer women to other health facilities. Really? They take money for something and then tell the clients to go to another health facility. Does that money go with them? I started thinking about the irony involved here. There has been proven to be a link between abortion and breast cancer. http://abortionbreastcancer.com . Miscarriage also increases the chances of breast cancer.
     For the past 3 years, I have been involved in my church's Relay For Life Team. The last 2 as a co-captain of the team. We as a team have grown larger every year, and were able to increase the amount of money were raised for The American Cancer Society. Sitting in a monthly meeting a couple of months ago, I noticed that a speaker had started spending more time talking about joining a legislative action group, in order to put pressure on our politicians concerning funding cancer research. It cost $10 to join that legislative group. Stem cell research is what was going through my mind as she spoke.
     After the meeting, I went home and googled 'Is the American Cancer Society Pro-life?" I found this website http://all.org./charities , with this information. The American Cancer Society is not considered a pro-life organization for the following reasons:
1. Support for human embryonic stem cell

2. Grant funding at facilities known prominently for human   embryonic

3. Grant funding for morally questionable research

4. Grant funding to Planned Parenthood

5. Referrals to Planned Parenthood as a health information/education resource

6. Donations to the Lance Armstrong LiveStrong Global Cancer Campaign (see entry for LiveStrong)

7. Failure to acknowledge the link between previously induced abortion and risk for breast cancer

8. Suggested fertility options including IVF, embryo freezing, egg/sperm donation and surrogacy.

     My personal objections are for 1-7. As far as #8, I have a close friend that would not have been able to give birth if it were not for IVF. And I would have been a surrogate for her if it had ever come down to it. Also, I don't understand why IVF wouldn't be considered prolife. To me, its all about making life.
      After reading several different resources on the web, I came to the conclusion that this would have to be my last year participating in Relay. I am very strongly Pro-Life, and I don't even want $.02 of every dollar I raise to go towards 1-7. After processing what I found out for a few days, I knew that I couldn't even finish out this years Relay. I did turn all the money in that I had raised up to that point, stopped asking for more donations, and stepped down and out of the team.
      I will continue to minister to the sick, make meals, clean house, and bring people to appts. See the need, fill the need. I will, from now on, check out organizations before I invest my time, and money into them, to make sure they represent my value system. ..... Just Saying....

Do you get Jaded?

Left blinker on, waiting for light to change. He is holding a sign "Need help, Homeless" etched out on cardboard. He walks to the car ahead of me and points to the sign. Not sure if he is acknowledged as he starts toward me, again pointing to his sign. My window is down, not sure what to do. I take in his tats on his neck, arms, and calves. I look at him and suddenly blurt out,"Subway, down at the end of this road is hiring", He says "I already filled out an application." I said "Good", and mercifully the light changes and I turn into the plaza to bring my son to work. Has this ever happened to you?

What do you do? Be the hands and feet of Jesus should always be on the top of our list. But what does that mean? What does that mean to you? At a different intersection, in a neighboring town there is always one or two people standing with some sort of signs. I have on a few occasions stopped and handed out a 10 or a 20 spot. Once I was waiting for pizza at lil Ceasers. (yup had to wait, it happens even there) Staring out the window; I watched a 20 something man walking along the sidewalk bend down and pick up change off the ground, and partial smoked butts. He walked down to Bed and Bath and then back up past the pizza place. I got my 2 large ronis and went to start my car. He was sitting on a bench by Sun Tan City trying to light one of the butts he had picked up. Opportunity, yes! I took 2 slices and a $20, went to him and handed it to him. He smiled and thanked me, and kept asking "Really?" I said, "Yes, really. Jesus wants you to eat today. He loves you".

Thats how I want to respond all the time. Lately, I'm feeling a bit jaded. I am tired. I work very hard, and God has allowed me to meet all my financial needs. I have turned several jobs down in the last month because there are only 7 days a week. I was at the post office one day mailing out something I sold on ebay and this lady comes in when I'm at the counter. She says "Excuse me, I noticed all the cleaning supplies in your car, do you clean houses?" I had to turn that down. I was booked solid. The economy has been good for me. I am grateful, I am tired.

 I know I have become jaded because instead of digging in my wallet when this guys started walking towards me, I am looking at his tattoo's thinking 'they don't give those away'. Instead of giving him money from the check that I had just cashed from cleaning today.I basically tell him to go work at Subway. I even consider parking the car to watch him and see where he goes, to see if he really is homeless. And I probably would have if I hadn't just finished a 9 hour cleaning day. Jaded. How to fix this. I think I need to fix this because I plan on retiring 9 years from now to be in full time ministry, in a ministry that is based on people helping people, while leading them to the saving Grace of Jesus Christ. If this is going to be a reality, I can't become jaded. How would or do you handle these things that come up in your life? I really want to know.

Angels and Demons

Spiritual Warfare, when you hear that, what goes through your mind? As I write this, I am really hoping for some feedback. Do you think of Angels and Demons? Do you believe they exist? Do you believe they have power. How? Why do you believe what you do? I think I have always believed that Angels existed but never had the love affair that some seem to. Sometimes it seems people put more faith in Angels than Jesus. Or at least it seems that way to me with the bumper stickers and jewelry I see.

How about demons? Many people believe in God, His Son and his created Angels but don't want to think about the dark side. Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and if you talk about Satan and his peeps and his lies, and plans to seek and destroy you, you just get a blank stare, or maybe they look at you like your possessed? I am finding that to be true.

I have this thing going on at work that has been on my mind for a couple of years now. I work for a really amazing couple that own and operate some very old mills. I clean these mills. They used to be textile mills, but now house many small businesses, artists, woodworkers, bands, etc. A couple of years ago a church moved into several of the available spaces. Not a traditional type church. Not even a nontraditional Christian church. It's New Age. They pretty much believe that all roads lead to heaven. They also seem to believe that they can achieve anything just by saying something is so and visualizing it. They have posters, pamphlets, and even some cards laying around that look like tarot cards. Now as I explained in earlier blogs, I am a Christ follower and therefore I believe what scripture says, like John 14:6, Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." So when I see and hear things to the contrary, I think "lies, deception, etc."

About a month ago, I put a small table out in the lobby of the floor that this church is located.(They don't rent this space, they just think they do, I believe they are visualizing it) On this table I put a couple of New Testament bibles and some "Who is God" Gospel tracts. Every weekend the bibles and they tracts go missing, and I replace them with new ones. So being the curious person that I am, I checked the security tape. We have to do that from time to time when the local kids get bored and run a muck. One time, which I did the happy dance about, a young adult man took one while waiting for the elevator. He didn't appear to be with the church but there for other business. Isaiah 55:1 "So will My word be which goes forth from My mouth; It will not return to Me empty, Without accomplishing what I desire, And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it" (This is the reason for my happy dance) I have one three occasions witnesses the church leaders remove a bible. I thought 'maybe they actually don't have a real bible in their bookstore, and they will actually read it...maybe they will get saved...how cool would that be?...' Yesterday I went to work to find that the table was empty. I checked out the footage to see if it was those kids, and saw the church leaders gathering around the table, talking, waving their hands and then one of them set his briefcase bag down scooped up everything that was on the table and throw it into his bag. They then all got on the elevator and left. It was kind of comical. But I am guessing now that they aren't looking for more inventory for the bookstore because the bookstore is located on the same floor. So I replaced bibles and tracts once again. I am thinking they don't want any bibles anywhere near their church. Fortunately I have a great resource through CBD to continue to replenish my supply.

This weekend they are hosting "Oneness Awaking Course" This is an "intensive" weekend, to open the hearts and senses to experience more fully the richness of life in all of it's manifestations "to the "Divine". When the posters went up for this one, a few months ago, the hairs went up on the back of my neck. One of the bullet points that you get for this weekend (that costs $225), is -Experience the sacred phenomenon of Mukthi Deeksha.

I am a Googler. If I want to enlighten myself on just about anything, I turn to the almighty Google. I looked up Mukthi Deeksha, when the poster went up. Right away I found out alot about deeksha. I especially found a couple of sites from former members of the Oneness movement that talked about the danger involved in deeksha. http://deekshadanger.weebly.com/freddy-speaks-out.html and http://www.enlightened-spirituality.org/deeksha_oneness.html. It' is interesting to me that these websites were listed on the first google page a couple months ago and now I had to go through 42 to find the one. Not sure how that works. Basically these to websites indicate that there is corruption at the highest level of this movement and the people that get involved at the lower levels, the ones with a God shaped hole in their soul, who are looking for fulfilment are first finding peace in deeksha and then become psychotic. When somebody says psychotic, I think demon possessed. What do you think? That was the whole point of this blog what do you think happens when people open themselves up to the spirit realm? Reading some of the websites that advertise and encourage this movement they are hoping for global oneness awakening for the year 2012. Just Saying..

Election Day

I decided I don't have to vote for who I think can win back the white house. Today I will vote my conscience. Rick Santorum. There may be time to compromise values at a later time. But tonight, I will sleep. This is what my Face Book status is today. Then I starting thinking...what if? What if we all voted our conscience. What if our votes reflected our value system? What if we paid more attention to what and how they answer the questions on the issues that matter most to us? What if money, media, and popularity didn't enter into the mix? I know people that don't have an opinion on anything until they check in with ABC and FOX news. Really? We are going to trust the ultra left and ultra right? This fall I decided I need to start paying attention. I started rooting for Herman Cain. I liked the whole 9-9-9, tax plan. Well, we know how that worked out. Not the first time I had been disappointed with a man in power. But I still like a flat tax idea. So I kept looking...Michelle Bachman, I like her then she dropped out. My brother in-law had tried to reason with me about Ron Paul. Although I'm liking getting rid of many wasteful government programs, the military is not one of them. Do you remember 911? I do. I was listening to a podcast the other day where a retired general was the speaker, General Jerry Boykin. What I got from that is the danger of Islamic terrorism is not over. Side note, 80% of the non -Mexicans coming over our boarders, illegally in the south are from the middle east. I don't think we can afford to have the arrogance in the White House. I hope that whoever is sits in the oval office actually listens to military advisers, and the leaders of our troops. Pulling back, and becoming complacent will be an invitation to more violent acts against the United States. So the search continued. I then started hearing about Rick Santorum. He grew up in the mid west, and served in the house and senate for the state of Pennsylvania. He is Pro Life. I found that we had gone through a similar situation which we responded to the situation in the same way. I was pregnant with my last child at 35. The Dr. I was seeing at the time kept pushing for me to have an amniocentesis, because of my age. I kept saying no, they kept pushing. I found another Dr's office. I, like the Santorum's, didn't see how endangering my baby to see if he was 'perfect' would be of any benefit. The result wouldn't change our mind on having a child. Babies shouldn't be disposable. I had a healthy child, they didn't. He got a A+ from the NRA. Usually, if those two issues line with whom I can support, everything else works out.
It is human nature to want to be on the winning team. Sporting games are most watched when it's the Superbowl, World Series and the NBA finals. Even none sports fans stop and pay attention during these events. Church is most attended at Christmas and Easter. Team Jesus, is gonna win! Most of us know that. During elections, people, I have noticed will go out and vote for who ever they believe can beat the opposing party. Can you imagine if everyone voted for whom they really wanted and not who the media predicts ahead of time? I may pick up some fast food later today and have to settle on Coke instead of Pepsi, but today I am not gonna settle at the polls...Just Saying.

Beyond The Gate

Beyond The Gate
When I learned a while back that my friend Dan was writing a novel, I was elated. I have known Dan and his family for several years now. Our family had gone to a coffee house to hear a band from New York; a band named True Witness. The band was a family. Two brothers, the lead vocalist Tim and the bassist, Dan, married the two sisters Kim the flutist and Heather, on keyboards. Guitarist Tom, is married to Chris a procutionist, who is mother to the girls. The talent was amazazing, and the lyrics and message to the music was up beat and inspirational. After the concert, we spent some time getting to know them all and there was an instant connection. From that time on, anytime they came anywhere within a few hours of us on tour, we were there, and they would often stay with us for weekends. The adult children in the band started calling us Uncle Rick, and Aunt Kathy. That was cool, because we don't actually have a close relationship with our nieces or nephews that call us anything. They included us and our 2 youngest kids in a few promotional videos that were a blast to be part of. The True Witness family became our family. And we knew that it would happen, they got bigger and more well known all over the country, especially on the east coast. Opportunites poured in for them from all directions. This opened the doors for them to continue to spread their message in even more fantastic ways. They moved to the Atlanta Georgia area, and now we don't see them much at all. Our loss, is a Blessing to the south as they deeply touch everyone with whom they come into contact. We are thrilled with their journey and the part that we were able to watch up close.
So when I found out that Dan was writing a book, I could not wait. The book is called Beyond The Gate. The author is Daniel T. Adams. This book is not like the concerts they playout. It's not an up beat, Love Is Enough, polyanna view on life. It is a work of fiction that shows how hurts and fears take on a life of there own, if there is no healing power, from the Lord. It speaks to how circumstance and life, become who we are and how we handle what is handed to us affects us and those around us. There are parts woven into the novel that are very dark. The character development is so deep that I have never read anything like this before. Move over Stephen King and Ted Dekker. Clyde, the main character in the story had an unbelievably difficult childhood. And therefore lives his life in darkness. He is stunted and never expects his life to change. I think we all know people like this. In fact, I believe as you read this book, you will see parts of yourself or someone you know in every character. To say that I am not an intellectual is an understatement. I like word pictures, concepts to be spelled out in RED crayon. (When you read this story, you will get the pun.) Dan paints a picture so clear and so true of how our fears, drive us in our lives. And as important how we choose to react and live with ours fears affect others, innocent others. I know that I can not truly give this book the justice it deserves in anything that I write here. I am not going to give away plot, or the truth folded within, or the ending. I HIGHLY recommend this book. And no, even if you know me, you cannot borrow it...Justsaying. Get your own copy. For more information on how to order this book or the music of TW, visit: www.truewitness.com .