Since I first posted this blog series, I have gotten feedback through my FB wall and inbox. People had read the questions and added there own stories. As I had stated before, they are all unique. But also the same. Which confirms in me that things need to change in many church's.
The reason I wanted to talk about the first two is because I feel they have a major role in why people leave. With transitions, some people will leave right off, and others, like myself after a given amount of time. The people that leave right away to avoid the pain, of watching what they know and love, change. It's a strategic move. The second, targeted demographics, other than on the mission field that is not America, I just don't understand.
Transitions. I have been through a few. They are never easy. The first one that had any impact on me was 11 years ago. I remember people leaving before even giving the new Pastor a chance. "He is too young." "His ministry is with the youth." "He is divorced." "Blah, Blah, Blah." I was working in the office at the time. I was probably his biggest fan. I think it's unfair to jump ship before giving someone a chance. First, if I am remembering correctly, he was the same age as Jesus. Second, as far as working with the youth, more than half of all Pastors lead a youth group, before leading a church. Divorced? He didn't ask for it, didn't want it, didn't have a choice. You can't make someone stay that wants to leave. Soon God was to bring a young woman into his life that would be a blessing to him and give him a beautiful family. Ultimately, I moved on a few years later. From what I understand, he has an amazing ministry, and I hope to visit a service soon. Transitions don't only happen because the is a new Pastor in town. Any change will bring a transitioning period. Music, programs, staff, concept, the way you do breakfast, whatever. Change will shake things up. Not always for the best.
Targeted demographics. Is that even biblical? Other than the demographics being the unsaved, lost and unchurched? Should a certain age, or sex be in your vision-action-type-plan? Jesus preached to the multitudes. Men, women, children, all ages. It seemed to work for him. Am I wrong? So why are we targeting one group, at the expense of others? It feels as if it's a bad marketing plan. If you are catering worship, sermons, programs around a certain age or sex or both, should you really be that surprised when you turn around and everyone else that doesn't fit that demographic are gone?
The third. Well to be honest, it came up alot last week, and it just ticked me off.
Sheep Stealing. Personally, I hate that term. Especially when it's based on lies. There can be so much crying foul and finger pointing instead of taking inventory on what is really going on. If the sheep are actually people, and the people are being fed, and cared for, watched out for during the rough terrain of their lives, if they felt valued and loved, they would not stray. They would not seek another shepherd. If people aren't getting their expectations met, they will go somewhere they think they can do so. I think that before anyone starts tossing around the term sheep stealing, those that are accusing, need to take closer, deeper look at how they interact with the"flock".
Let me just say this...when you are walking out your OWN salvation....and you have a 'called' man of God for a Pastor, there is a connection of oneness. If you are sitting under a man that is not 'called' to him it's just a JOB...some of these preachers do not want to own up to that..but think about it. If it's just a job they will act exactly like the guy you work for, frustrated, aggrivated, self righteous.. When you take the time to get to know your Pastor...if he has these qualities in a crisis...BINGO...Now the problem with this is...sometimes it will take awhile to see these characteristic but you won't mistake them. I've met many preachers who are doing a JOB. Let's not full ourselves there are those that sheeps in wolves clothing. Again, if you are walking out your own salvation...you will be able to decern them. People need to understand 'you do not go to church for the pastor and all it's programs'...if you are you are WRONG.....you are going to church to get fed and go out to do God's work for another week.You are going to be uplifted and edified. You're not going to church to listen to music and have your kids paint pretty pictures and make new friends. Church has turned into a social club...if you want a social club....go to a social club..you are at church to do business with GOD. The Pastor is there to feed you for the week and to minister to your needs. I saw where someone had made mention about a Pastor being there when you need him.. When it's a calling in his life he will be there. I've had many interupted Christmas's, cold dinners, late night phone calls, missed dates etc.. it's part of the ministry...NOT A JOB. I do not own my husband and neither does the church !!!!! He belongs to God and when Pastor's wives and their congregations get that.....there is a harmony of understanding. I've met so many Pastor's wives that all they do is complain and whine...oh my husband is never home, it's all about the church..he doesn't have time for me, he never sees the kids...GET OVER IT...He is an ambassador for God and I've learned personally when my husband is doing God's work, that is when he is fullfilled and happy and comes home to me when he's done. A church should understand the same principle, the Pastor does not belong to them...he is basically loaned to them from God and is there to do God's will. I find it quite amazing when people will tell their Pastor's what they think he ought to be doing...When you go to work tomorrow morning...try that on your boss, then call me and tell me how it went >>>>> same idea yet for some reason just because you go to church, you think you have some right to TELL your Pastor how he ought to run his ministry...hmmmmmm why is that ??? I've been a Christian for a long time and have been in many many churches, not once did I have a moment of ordacity to think I knew more or better than the Pastor...Do you think there were people trying to tell Jesus what to do ? He was listening to the Father, just as Pastors do. Church no doubt is changing but for the good? or is just for the socialization? Church is not there for the music or all it's programs...and I know people will base their thinking on those things when it comes to whether or not they want to go to a certain church...if that's the case...those people are not looking to go to church...they want a babysitting service and a social club. When you are walking out your OWN salvation and serving God and following your hopefully 'called" Pastor..your life changes and you will be an instrument to change other lives...that is what the point is...Stop looking to GET....and learn to GIVE....love you Kathy and keep up the good work....oxoxooxoxo
ReplyDeleteThank you Mary for the perspective of a Pastor's Wife who is doing it right.
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